4 Tips for the Sandwich Generation

The “sandwich generation” is the group of individuals who are raising their own children while also caring for aging parents. This demographic often experiences significant stress due to the demands of balancing these responsibilities. Here are 4 tips for the sandwich generation to help manage this complex situation.

Have “The Talk” with Your Parents as Soon as Possible.

Initiating “The Talk” is a way to be proactive instead of just waiting for something to happen. “The Talk” should cover your parents’ preferences for long-term care, and who they will designate to help them make health-care and financial decisions if they become incapacitated. Being proactive and addressing these matters openly and promptly allows them to set up a plan and legal documents that align with your parents’ wishes for their care.

It is essential to involve siblings and other extended family members in these conversations to foster consensus and mitigate potential conflicts regarding your parents’ intentions. This collaborative approach minimizes the risk of misunderstandings or disputes regarding the desired course of action.

Determine How to Pay for Long-Term Care Before It’s Needed.

Long-term care expenses can be significant. It typically costs between $10,000 to $12,000 per month for full-skilled nursing care, and assisted living facilities typically cost between $4,000 and $6,000 per month. Projections indicate these costs are going to continue to increase.

Medicare coverage for skilled nursing care in a nursing home is limited to a maximum of 100 days, with co-pays exceeding $160 per day after the initial 20 days. Consequently, many families deplete their savings within two years of a family member entering a nursing home.

Medicaid can help pay for long-term nursing home care if your parents qualify for it. However, Medicaid has strict rules about who qualifies for it and other rules, such as their “look-back” rule that can affect whether your Medicaid will help pay for your parent’s care. Even if you or your parents don’t think they will qualify for Medicaid, it is worth talking to an attorney who specializes in Medicaid Planning to see if they can help put you on a path for Medicaid to help cover long-term care costs.

Get the Legal Documents in Order

For adult children navigating caregiving responsibilities while raising their own families, having appropriate legal documentation is crucial. Previous discussions, like “The Talk,” lay the groundwork for creating an effective plan and the necessary legal documents that safeguard and express your parents’ wishes. These documents include a Will, Power of Attorney, Living Will/Healthcare Proxy, and HIPAA Medical Release.

If your assets have to go through Probate, a Will states how those assets are distributed after you pass. The Property or Financial Power of Attorney designates an Agent to help manage a person’s property, legal, and financial mattes if the person becomes incapacitated. A Living Will outlines medical care preferences in critical situations, while a Healthcare Proxy appoints a trusted individual to make medical decisions for an incapacitated person.

Additionally, a HIPAA Medical Release specifies who can access medical information, which is crucial to make sure your agents have necessary access to that information in an emergency.

These foundational legal instruments are essential for executing your parents’ wishes and fostering familial harmony.

Having readily accessible medical and financial information is vital during emergencies, eliminating frantic searches. Ensuring copies of insurance cards, medical histories, medication lists, and contact details for essential advisors are readily available streamlines the process.

The last thing anyone wants in an emergency is to run around hysterically searching for important medical and financial information. You should have all of the following information readily available:

• Copies of the front and back of insurance cards, prescription cards, and, if applicable, military IDs
• Names and contact information of primary care physicians and specialists
• Basic medical history, such as medications, previous surgeries, and allergies
• A current list of medications and dosage
• Contact information for banks, financial advisors, insurance agents, attorneys, and other key advisors
• A list of financial accounts and safe deposit boxes, as well as the institutions where they are held
• The location of all estate planning documents, including Power of Attorney, Living Will/Healthcare Proxy, Will, HIPAA Medical Release, and, if applicable, trusts

Comprehensive estate planning may encompass various strategies and tools to achieve diverse objectives. Still, the aforementioned documents are fundamental for honoring your parents’ wishes and promoting unity within extended family circles.

Involve Your Children in Your Parents’ Care

One beneficial aspect of belonging to the sandwich generation is the readily available assistance from your children. For instance, if your daughter possesses a driver’s license, she can accompany her grandparents to doctor’s appointments if needed. Similarly, arranging visits for your son to spend time with his grandparents at their care facility can provide valuable support. Even young children can contribute by offering simple gestures, such as bringing snacks or engaging in activities with their grandparents, fostering meaningful connections.

Additionally, having your parents reside with you presents opportunities for your children to actively participate in caregiving tasks, whether it’s aiding with daily tasks or simply spending quality time together. These interactions not only benefit your parents but also alleviate potential anxieties your children may have regarding their grandparents’ circumstances.

While navigating the challenges of the sandwich generation isn’t without its difficulties, proactive planning can significantly alleviate the burden and ensure your parents receive the necessary care. Engaging in thorough preparation can offer you greater peace of mind amidst the complexities of caregiving. We encourage you to reach out to us at your earliest convenience to discuss your unique needs and objectives.